1. |
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One of these days i'll be alright. Does being alive make you wanna die? Cause i know what you mean. Carefree, i don't know if i'll ever be. I'll rot away with this disease til i'm dead and gone.
Right now is the only moment i have. And the fear of all that is to come blankets it all, inhibiting me from enjoying anything. There's no healing for your wound, your injury's fatal. It's fatal. No light, or darkness. One of these days i'd like to find the will to do so.
As the days go on and the years fly by, as passengers, who knows why.
There's no need, or reason, to try to cherish the brief moments of the slight reprieve. Do you think they'll ever come back to stay?
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2. |
Dear Darkness,
03:13
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Must we decide what to do with this day? Are you afraid? What must be done to disarm the negative?
Nowhere to go. You've already been. There's nowhere here.
Wasting away. Feels like that's all. Don't accomplish anything. So sick of...
Digging a hole without even knowing it. Can you get out? Will you patiently wait for peace someday? Someday.
Until you rise up to the sky, and arrive home.
You've grown so tired of everything. Oh, how much longer?
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3. |
Always Right
03:38
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And you're always right - What could i do to compete - When you're always right - And i'll send it on - If the letter's not received - What will i be
And if all you ever wanted was - All that has never been - You've been deceived, my friend - And you cannot get it back - The time you had
Try to walk it back - And to make some sense of life - See what you'll find - If anything - I'd like to for myself - But you're always right
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4. |
Stopped Completely
05:19
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I feel so alone and so pathetic. Somehow she's over it all. I mean how? It just doesn't make sense to me. She's living her life still, and mine's stopped completely.
I just work and drink, try to sleep... Always in my mind, thinking i definitely wouldn't mind not waking up.
I think about her every day, yes all the time. Memories all day long. I have to get up in the morning before i'd like to, to stop the dreams and thoughts. My heart beats so violently.
I just work and drink, try to sleep... Always in my mind, thinking i definitely wouldn't mind not waking up.
Maybe the smoke has cleared, but i still can't breathe, or get up. I find myself holding my breath all the time, unconsciously... Stopped completely.
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5. |
Remeron
04:06
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I don't expect a response. But i need some words for all of the things i can't explain. All of these wasted days. How can i try when it hurts all of the time?
Don't forget to take it down. Before you lay down at night. A brand new drug to keep you down.
I would like to explain what is going on here, but my head's up in the clouds. Sticking to the plan didn't go as planned but, i'm not quite sure to what extent the point is.
Is this a bad drug? I want out. I'm pretty sure i'd be better off without. All of your help to fix myself.
Get me out of here.
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6. |
What We Wanted
02:46
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Three years ago, i was 23. Three years ago, you were only 18. But we saw our future so bright and clearly. Made so many plans, knew just what we wanted.
If i had my wishes for today, you'd come right back here and give me a kiss. And tell me you're sorry for ever leaving. And that you still wanna get married.
You broke my heart into a million pieces.
If i could change just one thing in this world, i'd change your mind and you'd be my girl. Through the course of these years, my heart has never wavered. You know i always loved you.
I wish you'd put these pieces back together.
Oh please, i miss your kiss. I miss you.
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7. |
New Anniversary
03:44
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I guess i can't be ok with being unwaveringly alone for so long. I can't control my thoughts, especially the ones of you and me.
Even if there was a way to have power over that, i know that i could not possess it. If nothing happens, well then nothing can change.
These are the pictures that were supposed to make me happy every time i see them. But now they don't. Its a catastrophic tragedy, cause now they make me want to die instead. My life ended anyway, when you left me there.
So why am i still here on this new anniversary? I know i'm not supposed to be. Here i am, against my will. I tried and tried, and then i failed. The only way that i knew how.
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8. |
Thirteen Days
03:59
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I never thought of our love as a temporary thing at all. I wanted for, and you know it all. I wonder how long you've wanted out. Could it be that you're the liar after all? Could it be that i was the only one in love?
I guess i never had your heart. Not the way i believed with all of mine. So many dreams endured last night. I didn't sleep well at all. Could it be that i was ready for it? Could it be that you were faking it? Why'd you buy, and bail 13 days later... When i had waited my whole life?
I don't know how long it will take til i can live again. Why'd you leave someone who loves you so?
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9. |
Blackout
04:28
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66 days, the darkest place. The light of my life went out. I see no purpose in these useless cycles. The sun and moon mean nothing to me.
Oh well, go on. You don't have to feel a thing at all.
So to you, i give it all up. I'm done.
I'd rather rot and die than live another day without you. This terrible world used to be so beautiful when you loved me.
Oh well, go on. You don't have to feel a thing at all.
All the heartache and pain is all mine.
So to you, i give it all up. I'm done.
Before you left, i wish you would have left me a weapon or poison. I cannot cope, and i'd never hurt anyone but myself.
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10. |
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So what's the story, how does it go? I bet it's different than how it looks. It's what you're feeling. Well sure it counts. But what's it amount to when reality is so loud?
I'd tell ya somethin if i knew anything at all.
Everything's fine. Everything's good. We tell ourselves these things when we can't feel it. Are we just trying to fool ourselves?
Something's missing, i cannot find a reason for anything; why these days go by. Ya do what ya have to, with no desire. And nothing brings you joy, and you wonder why you're alive.
I'd tell ya somethin if i knew anything at all. My heart falters, fear makes me tremble. The twilight i longed for has become a horror to me.
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11. |
O Lord, Our Lord
02:16
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